Time check: 3:10am.
Hello.
I can't sleep. I'm tired. I know. But I just can't sleep. Tried listening to songs, but it serves no help at all. My mind kept wandering off to granny. It's all about Picturing what had happened for the past few days. So many things can change within such a short period of time. I regretted, regretted for taking certain things for granted. Since thursday, I saw how my granny look, I thought, she'll get out of the hospital in afew days time just like how it used to be. And when I happily went out after visiting her, thinking that tmr I'll visit her with my family again. Unfortunately, a phone call came, and that's it, a stroke strike her. Rushed all the way to sgh after hearing the news. Waited and waited until she's done with her check-ups. Went in and visit her. Her eyes closed...not able to open up by herself anymore. I thought, it was just the hospital stopping her from opening because scared she'll be giddy. And when I realized it's the cause of her left brain damaged, I was utterly shocked.
That day she sounds fine to us, able to hear and talk to us. And that stayed at hospital for awhile more and went home. At night went to visit her again with aunts and family, she still sound fine, was still able to tell who are my aunts are and even talk to them. Thus, we stayed for half an hour more and left the hospital since visiting hours was long ago over. We all thought that she'll get better the next day.
Yeap, the next day she was still fine, and what's more, she was joking with us! Just that her damaged kinda expanded. Just a lil. We thought she was gonna pull through. It's just two more days! And went home after about 4 hours.
Next day, which is just yesterday, woke up at 730. Wanted to head off to market to buy stingray and etc for class BBQ. But I was in a dilemma if I should go to the BBQ and have fun? Or visit granny? And Hella I would be damn fucking guilty if I didn't visit her for one whole day! And what's more? She's in such critical stage, I can't afford to exchange something I can still do with visiting granny. So I decided to not turn up for BBQ. Went to text Jaime and Xuan Wen about it. Then I went back to sleep.
After not long, aunt called us, telling us granny's consciousness is detioriating...of course, I was all worried. Waited for news see how my parents wants to do. After awhile dad comes home from work, chiong all the way to sgh! Went into the room, the atmosphere was utterly depressing, kept calling granny. Telling her not to worry and so on. Her hearing, got worse. We need to call many many times before she even nod her head for once. Looking at her state, everyone cried.
I mean god, it's just one day! One day only! You chose to make her weaker? And not strengthen her? Why?! It's just one day, she was still joking with us. And the next day, you made her even nodding her head so difficult. Why?!
Granny, if you really care for us, I need you to live on, I need you to watch us grow up into better grown-ups, get married and have great grandchildren for you! You have to witness all this things please! You can't afford to just leave like that, I know you have many things you can't let go, so please get well and get out of the stupid hospital standing! Please.
I promise I won't take things for granted anymore. Granny, i love you. God bless you.
